If you’ve experienced trauma, you may find it difficult to open up to your partner about what happened.
You may feel like you’re not ready to talk about it or that your partner won’t understand.
However, it’s important to communicate with your partner about your experiences and how they’ve affected you.
In this article, we will break down a bit about what we think and recommend regarding how to explain trauma to a partner.
Why It Is Difficult To Explain Trauma To A Partner
When you’ve experienced trauma, it can be difficult to feel safe and trusting again.
It can be hard to explain what you need from your partner in order to feel safe.
One thing to keep in mind when trying to explain your trauma to your partner is that your partner cannot “fix” you or take away your pain.
It is important for them to understand that you are the only one who can heal from your trauma.
Your partner needs to be patient and understand that it will take time for you to heal.
They also need to be prepared for setbacks and triggering events.
You can also benefit from communicating what you need from your partner in order to feel safe.
This may include things like physical space, emotional distance, or specific words and actions.
Why It’s Important To Talk About Trauma With A Partner
In order to begin the process of healing, it is important to have somebody that you can trust and confide in.
For many people, this is their romantic partner.
However, talking about trauma can be difficult, especially if the person does not have a lot of experience with discussing sensitive topics.
It is crucial to remember that there is no right or wrong way to talk about trauma with a partner or to address the subject of how to explain trauma to a partner.
The most important thing is to communicate openly and honestly.
There are a few things to keep in mind when explaining trauma to a partner: use clear language, be patient, and offer support.
It is also important to remember that everyone processes trauma differently.
Some people may want to talk about their experiences immediately, while others may need more time.
This is good to keep in mind whether you are the partner who has experienced the trauma or the one trying to help your partner through it.
What Is Trauma?
Trauma is naturally a difficult topic to discuss, but it can be very helpful to talk about it with a partner and doing so can even become a bonding experience between you.
Here are some tips on how to explain trauma to a partner.
Realize that everyone experiences trauma differently.
What may be traumatic for one person may not be for another.
It’s important to communicate openly with your partner about what you’re comfortable talking about and what you’re not.
Remember that your partner can’t fix your trauma.
They can however, provide support and understanding.
It’s okay to lean on your partner during tough times and they will likely appreciate knowing how they can help you through tough times.
You don’t have to go it alone.
Don’t be afraid to seek professional help if you feel like you’re struggling to cope with your trauma.
When you do, remember that you can always ask them for further suggestions, tools, and techniques to help you get yourself back to a positive place psychologically.
What Are The Different Types Of Trauma?
There are many different types of trauma that people can experience.
Some traumas are more severe than others, but all can have a lasting impact on a person’s life.
It is important to be aware of the different types of trauma so that you can better understand how to help a partner who may be dealing with one.
One type of trauma is single-incident trauma.
This is when a person experiences a traumatic event that is not part of a repetitive pattern.
An example of this would be if someone was in a car accident.
While the event may be very traumatic, it is not something that happens on a daily or weekly basis.
Another type of trauma is complex trauma.
This occurs when a person experiences multiple traumatic events, or when one traumatic event has long-lasting effects.
An example of this would be if someone grew up in an abusive home.
What is vicarious trauma?
Vicarious trauma is a form of psychological trauma that occurs as a result of witnessing or hearing about a traumatic event.
It can lead to the development of symptoms such as post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).
While vicarious trauma is often associated with first responders, such as police officers and firefighters, it can also affect anyone who hears about a traumatic event, whether it’s on the news, in a movie, or even in a conversation.
People who are exposed to vicarious trauma may experience changes in their thinking and emotions.
They may feel more negative about themselves and the world around them.
They may also have trouble sleeping, concentrating, or remembering things.
In severe cases, vicarious trauma can lead to PTSD.
Identifying Symptoms Of Trauma
There are a few common symptoms of trauma that may help to identify what the person is going through.
One symptom of trauma is flashbacks.
This occurs when the person relives the event that caused the trauma.
They may have intrusive thoughts or nightmares about the event.
Another symptom is avoidance.
The person may try to avoid anything that reminds them of the event or they may withdraw from friends and family.
If you think your partner is experiencing trauma, it is important to talk to them about what they are going through.
It can be difficult for them to open up, but it is important to let them know that you are there for them.
The Impact Of Trauma On The Individual
Trauma is a deeply distressing or disturbing experience.
It can be physical, emotional, psychological, or sexual in nature.
Trauma can happen to anyone, at any time.
It can have a lasting impact on an individual’s mental and physical health, and their relationships.
There is commonly a lot of confusion and anxiety around how to explain trauma to a partner, so don’t feel like you are alone if you feel at a loss when dealing with trauma.
It is important to remember that everyone experiences trauma differently.
There is no right or wrong way to feel after a traumatic event.
Some people may want to talk about what happened right away, while others may need more time to process the events.
It is also important to remember that your partner cannot “fix” what has happened.
They can however, provide support and understanding.
If you are struggling to cope with the aftermath of trauma, it is important to seek professional help as we have already mentioned.
The Impact Of Trauma On Relationships
When it comes to talking about past traumas with a partner, it’s important to be honest and open.
However, it’s also important to be aware of how your trauma may be impacting your relationship.
Trauma can often lead to feelings of isolation, mistrust, and anxiety.
It can be difficult to feel close to someone when you’re constantly on guard.
If you’re finding it hard to connect with your partner, there are ways to work through these issues and methods of how to explain trauma to a partner.
It’s important to communicate with your partner about your needs and expectations.
If you’re feeling triggered or overwhelmed, let them know.
It takes time and patience, but working through trauma together can make your relationship even stronger.
How To Start The Conversation
As we’ve said more than once already, it can be difficult to explain trauma to a partner.
Don’t worry though, because we are here with actual answers.
Here are some tips on how to start the conversation:
1. Talk about your triggers. Explain what sets off your memories and emotions related to the trauma. This will help your partner understand what may cause you distress and how they can support you.
2. Share as much or as little as you feel comfortable with. It is important to share only as much as you feel ready to and that your partner is receptive to hearing.
3. Be prepared for questions from your partner. They may want to know more about the experience in order to better understand you and how the trauma has affected you.
4. Reassure your partner that it is okay to ask questions and express their feelings. It is normal for them to have a lot of questions and it is important that they feel comfortable asking them.
What To Do If Your Partner Doesn’t Understand
You might feel like you are struggling to figure out how to explain trauma to a partner and/or that they just don’t understand but there are ways to help them try.
Start by telling them what happened in as much detail as you feel comfortable sharing.
It’s okay if you need to take breaks or need to talk about it in pieces – just let them know that’s what you need.
Then, explain how the trauma has affected you.
This can be tricky, because sometimes the effects of trauma aren’t always obvious.
But try your best to articulate how it’s changed the way you think, feel, and act.
Finally, let your partner know what you feel that you need from them.
Conclusion
In conclusion, it is important to be honest with your partner about your experiences with trauma.
It is also important to be patient and understanding with them as they try to understand what you have been through.
It can also be helpful to try to relate to what they are feeling and how they are affected by the trauma as you are the main person affected but it is also affecting the relationship that you have with them.
If you can do this, then you will be able to create a strong and supportive relationship that can weather any storm.
And lastly, if you ever feel that you need it, remember always that help is never more than an email or phone call away. 🙂
