In today’s society, it can often seem like there are a lot of parents being verbally abusive to their children, whether or not that is actually the case.
It may be only a matter of perception or due to the fact that, whenever anything bad happens to anyone, we all hear about it in ways that we didn’t before because of technology.
Whatever the case, if you’re having it happen to you, you probably don’t care about how common or rare it is so much as you care about how to deal with verbally abusive parents.
It goes without saying that this type of parenting can be incredibly damaging to the emotional and psychological well-being of the child.
Many people have experienced verbal abuse from their parents and managed to survive, but that doesn’t mean that it was easy for any of them.
What is verbal abuse?
Verbal abuse is any type of communication that is verbally harmful or derogatory.
It can be constant, frequent, and severe – particularly if there is alcohol or any other form of mood-altering substance involved.
Some signs of verbal abuse include insulting language, name-calling, epithets, threats, and domination/subordination tactics.
It can be difficult to deal with verbal abuse because it often feels like the abuser has the upper hand and you are powerless to do anything about it.
However, there are ways to cope with and get through abusive relationships.
Why Do Some Parents Verbally Abuse Their Kids?
There are many possible reasons why a parent might verbally abuse their child.
Some parents may be dealing with their own personal issues and lash out at their children as a way of dealing with their anger or frustration.
Other parents may have grown up in homes where verbal abuse was common, and they may not be aware of how harmful it can be to their children.
If you are the child of verbally abusive parents, it can be difficult to know how to deal with the situation.
It is important to remember that you are not responsible for your parents’ behavior, and you cannot change them.
The best thing you can do is focus on your own well-being and try to build a support system of family and friends who will offer you emotional support.
You may also want to consider talking to a therapist, who can help you process the feelings that come up when dealing with verbally abusive parents.
Signs that your parents are verbally abusive
Some warning signs include: being constantly criticized, being made to feel guilty or ashamed about things that you do not have control over, being ignored or talked down to, and being threatened or yelled at.
If you’re experiencing any of these signs, it’s important to talk to someone you trust about what’s going on.
There are also a number of other signs that you can look for.
You may also want to consider seeking professional help when learning how to deal with verbally abusive parents.
This can be an incredibly difficult process, but it’s important to remember that you deserve to be treated with respect.
What Do I Need To Know About How To Deal With Verbally Abusive Parents?
If you are being verbally abused by your parents, it is important to take action to protect yourself.
Verbal abuse can be extremely damaging and can leave you feeling scared, alone, and devalued.
There are steps you can take to deal with verbally abusive parents and create a safer home environment for yourself.
1. Understand That Verbal Abuse Is Never Your Fault
The abuser is responsible for their own actions, and they should not be allowed to blame or hurt you with their words.
You need to keep in mind that the abuse is about the abuser’s issues, not about you.
You can’t change the abuser.
You are not at fault for what they do, and you have no responsibility for it.
Take care of yourself!
2. Set Boundaries With Your Parents
This means communicating clearly what behaviors are acceptable and unacceptable for them around you.
If they cross a boundary, be sure to let them know in a clear and assertive way that their behavior is not okay.
It is important to remain respectful and kind, even if they are hurtful.
You don’t have to be friends with your abuser but it is important that you live in a healthy environment.
Learning how to establish healthy boundaries is a great step in that direction.
3. Understand That There Is No Such Thing As A Perfect Parent.
Nobody is perfect, and that includes parents.
If you are dealing with a verbally abusive parent, understand that there is no such thing as a perfect parent.
They may have issues that led to their abusive behavior, and they may not know how to change their ways.
It is important to be patient and understanding, while also setting boundaries for yourself.
You deserve to be treated with respect, and you should not allow yourself to be verbally abused.
If the abuse continues, it may be necessary to distance yourself from the abuser or even seek professional help.
You can use this realization to help you to forgive your parents for the verbal abuse they have inflicted upon you.
4. Remember That You Are Not Alone.
If you are experiencing verbal abuse from your parents, it can be hard to know what to do or how to deal with verbally abusive parents.
It is important to remember that you are not alone in this situation, and there are people who can help you get through it.
One thing that can be helpful is to talk to someone else about what is going on.
This could be a friend, family member, therapist, or any other trusted person.
Talking about the abuse can help you process it and start to heal.
Another thing you can do is create or join a support group for people who have experienced verbal abuse from their parents.
This can provide you with a safe space to share your experiences and get support from others who understand what you are going through.
Finally, don’t hesitate to reach out for professional help if you need it.
5. Focus On Your Own Growth Instead Of On The Past And Put Your Attention Onto Yourself.
If you’re one of the many people who have endured verbal abuse from a parent, it can be tough to know how to move on.
It’s natural to want to look back and try to understand why your parents acted that way, but dwelling on the past won’t do you any good.
The best way to deal with verbal abuse is to focus on your own growth.
Instead of spending your time and energy trying to figure out what went wrong in your relationship with your parents, put your attention onto yourself.
What are your goals?
What do you want for your future?
What kind of person/parent/spouse do you want to be?
These are the things that will help you move forward from what happened in the past.
Of course, it’s not easy to forget about the abuse, but by focusing on yourself, you can start to heal the wounds that were inflicted by your parents.
The goal is not necessarily to forget what happened, but rather to learn and grow from it.
6. Have Compassion And Empathy For Others.
Growing up, many people dealt with verbally abusive parents.
It’s not easy, but we can learn how to have compassion and empathy for them.
First, we should understand that our parents were likely raised in a similar environment, and may not have received the support they needed to learn how to communicate effectively.
Next, we should forgive and make meaning from our experiences with them.
This is not an easy feat. Man’s Search for Meaning by Viktor Frankl can be a helpful guide for understanding how to make meaning from challenging, traumatic situations.
Finally, we should try to understand their perspective, even if we don’t agree with it.
This will help us to maintain a relationship with them, and may even lead to some healing.
7. Seek Help From A Professional Therapist Or Counselor.
If you are dealing with verbally abusive parents, it can be very helpful to seek help from a professional therapist or counselor.
They can help you navigate through this difficult situation and provide you with the support you need.
Therapists understand how to deal with abusive behavior, and they can provide you with the tools you need to protect yourself, set limits with your parents, and/or process the traumatic experiences you have been through.
Additionally, therapy can help you develop a relationship with your parents, even if they continue to be abusive.
Therapists can help you understand why your parents are abusive and provide tools for dealing with the situation.
Another option is self-help groups, which offer support from other people who are in a similar situation.
These groups can be helpful in sharing coping strategies and getting advice from others who have been through it.
Finally, talking to someone outside of the family can also be helpful in getting another perspective on the situation and finding solutions.
Tips For Healing After Verbal Abuse From Your Parents
If you’re one of the many people who have experienced verbal abuse from your parents, you may feel like there’s no way to heal.
However, there are several things you can do to start the healing process and begin to move on from the abuse.
First, it’s important to understand that the abuse was not your fault.
Your parents were responsible for their own actions, and they were wrong to hurt you in this way.
Second, try to find a support group or therapist who can help you deal with the emotional pain of the abuse.
Talking about what happened can be very helpful in starting to heal. There are also evidence-based treatments for trauma that can be very helpful in processing your emotions.
Finally, try to focus on your own happiness and goals.
Spend time with friends and loved ones who make you happy, do things that make you feel good, and don’t let your parents’ abuse keep you from living a full and happy life.
Conclusion
No matter how old you are, it can be difficult to deal with verbally abusive parents.
If you’re still living at home, it can be hard to make yourself heard and stand up for yourself.
You may feel like you’re stuck in a cycle of abuse and that there’s no way out.
If you’re an adult who’s been able to move away from your parents, you may still find yourself struggling with the emotional aftermath of their abuse.
There is no one-size-fits-all answer to this problem, but there are some things that can help.
First, try to find someone trustworthy whom you can talk to about what’s going on. It can be really helpful to have an external perspective on the situation.
Like we mentioned earlier, you may also want to consider seeking professional help; a therapist could help you understand and deal with the complex emotions that are often associated with verbal abuse.If you are in immediate/imminent danger please call 911 or the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 800-799-7233.
