Grief and trauma don’t follow a clear path—and they rarely look the way we expect them to. In this Q&A, MindWell NYC therapist Julianna Treene shares her approach to supporting clients through loss, healing, and rebuilding a sense of safety.
How do you hold space without rushing healing?
Answer:
I follow your pace. There’s no timeline for grief, and pushing people to feel better usually backfires. I focus on creating a space where nothing needs to be different in that moment — you don’t have to be okay, make sense of it, or have answers. Just being heard can be incredibly healing.
What’s your approach to walking with someone through grief?
Answer:
My role isn’t to fix grief or make it go away. It’s to be with someone while they move through it. Grief can feel isolating, and many people feel pressure to “be strong” or get back to normal. In therapy, you don’t have to do that. We make space for whatever is actually there and find ways to carry the loss while still living your life.
What do you want clients to feel when they talk about loss with you?
Answer:
I want them to feel understood and not alone. Many people worry they’re grieving “wrong” or that they’re “too much” for others. My hope is that they leave sessions feeling that their pain makes sense and that they don’t have to carry it by themselves.
How do you help people be gentle with themselves while grieving?
Answer:
We work on softening self-criticism and building self-compassion. Grief is physically and emotionally exhausting, yet many people expect themselves to function as usual. I normalize that it can affect sleep, concentration, motivation, and mood, and help my clients practice treating themselves the way they would treat someone they love who is hurting.
What’s something grief has taught you as a therapist?
Answer:
That grief doesn’t follow rules. It comes in waves, sometimes when you least expect it. I’ve also learned that people don’t “move on” from loss, they learn to live with it. Therapy can help people find ways to stay connected to what they lost while also moving forward.
How do you create safety in trauma therapy?
Answer:
Safety starts with choice and control. You decide what we talk about and how fast we go. We also spend time building coping skills first, so you have tools to manage distress and feel supported throughout.
What’s your philosophy on pacing trauma work?
Answer:
We go at a pace where emotions are present but still manageable. The goal isn’t to avoid distress but to stay grounded and supported while working through it. If things start to feel overwhelming, we use skills to bring things back to a tolerable level before continuing.
What motivates you about trauma recovery work?
Answer:
Watching people reconnect with their lives. Trauma can make someone feel stuck in survival mode, like the world isn’t safe anymore. Seeing clients regain confidence, connection, and hope is incredibly meaningful.
