Does your fear of flying have you on edge again?
If you’re sick of feeling anxious and are ready to overcome your fear of flying, you’re in the right place!
In this article you will discover:
Section 1: What Is Fear of Flying?
Section 2: How to Overcome Fear of Flying
Before the Flight
Strategy 1: Acknowledge Your Fear of Flying
Strategy 2: Understand Your Fear of Flying
Strategy 3: Understand Your Triggers
Strategy 4: Learn As Much As You Can About Flying
Strategy 5: Alleviate Stressors Before the Flight
Strategy 6: Avoid Airplane Disaster Movies
During and After the Flight
Strategy 7: Recognize the Difference Between Fear and Danger
Strategy 8: Utilize Breathing Techniques and Mindfulness Exercises
Strategy 9: Think about the Destination – Not the Flight
Strategy 10: Continuously Expose Yourself to Flying
Section 3: When to Seek Help
Fear of flying is the feeling of worry and anxiety associated with the anticipation or act of flying.
Fear of flying often begins in young adulthood following a sudden and unexpected panicked experience while flying. The incident can be triggered by:
An unrelated traumatic event in life (death in the family, loss of a job, etc.).
Or by many secondary fears such as a fear of heights, the fear of closed spaces, the fear of crashing, etc.
Or by lack of knowledge and experience flying
Most often the fear or panic comes about when the flyer feels a lack of control over their safety and surroundings.
The majority of people with a fear of flying experience the symptom of anticipatory fear.
Anticipatory Fear: This is fear that begins while thinking about the fear you expect to experience during your next flight.
In other words, you begin to feel afraid of feeling afraid during an upcoming flight.
It is important to realize that much of the time, your anticipatory fear is much greater than what you will experience in the flight.
Anticipatory fear can leave you feeling defeated before you even begin.
However, if you avoid flying it will lead to less exposure which worsens your phobia over time. It will also send a message to your brain that flying is very dangerous and needs to be avoided, which is not necessarily the case.
If you have a fear of flying, you might also experience several physical symptoms before, during, and/or after the flight.
These symptoms may include:
The first step in overcoming your fear of flying is accepting your fear.
When anxiety starts creeping up, it may seem like the best thing to do is ignore it or try to tell yourself the anxiety is not really there.
However, you might have already found out that the more you try to not feel anxious, the more anxious you become.
Acknowledging that the fear exists and embracing it rather than pushing it away is the best way to begin managing it.
Speaking up about your fear of flying can help you recognize you are not alone.
It can also open doors for others who have overcome the phobia themselves to encourage and support you in your process.
It’s very difficult to overcome something you don’t understand.
Let’s take a moment to think deeply about the moment you begin to feel your anxiety kicking in.
Fear Works Like This
When you are in a situation you perceive as dangerous, your body automatically redirects blood to your major muscles to prepare you to either fight or run away.
This is called your parasympathetic nervous system or “Fight or Flight” response.
You may not realize it but your mind keeps a big list of negative past experiences (whether or not they were actually dangerous).
Your mind is constantly reviewing this ‘list’ for threats.
Once your brain perceives a threat from this list (like flying), you will be triggered.
This is when you begin to experience anxiety. To learn more about how fear works, check out this article → HERE
Your mind can add all kinds of things to your mental list of threats, even things that can’t harm you (like flying).
Our goal is to give you the strategies you need to finally TAKE FLYING OFF YOUR MENTAL THREAT LIST.
The third strategy to overcoming your fear of flying is understanding what triggers your feelings of fear.
Once these triggers are identified, you will be better able to desensitize yourself to these triggers so they no longer produce anxiety.
Let’s look at a few things that could be triggering your anxiety:
Fear of Death/ Losing Control: Turbulence during a flight may make you feel like you are out of control or that you could die.
Negative Past Experiences or Trauma: You may have formed unhealthy beliefs about flying after you experience a traumatic event.
This could have been an experience where you were frightened on a plane.
It’s also possible that you saw a news broadcast about a tragic plane wreck or you heard a story of a plane wreck from a friend.
It’s even possible that you associated an unrelated negative experience with flying.
Leaving Loved Ones: Being far away from those whom you love may make you feel that you’re losing them or that you’re unsafe.
Fear of Heights: If you are sensitive to heights you might be triggered when flying hundreds of miles off the ground.
Uncomfortable Sensations: If you are sensitive to certain bodily feelings, you might be triggered by taking off, landing, and turbulence.
For example: Suppose you are on a flight. You know you are afraid of flying but are unaware that bodily sensations trigger your anxiety.
So far you have kept your mind focused on other things, however, your mind has perceived a threat (turbulence) and has triggered your fight-or-flight response.
Your fear forces you to pay attention to the perceived danger. You begin to feel panicked and your mind focuses on impending disaster.
In this state of mind, it’s very difficult to discern what’s real and what’s not. It becomes nearly impossible to convince yourself there is no actual danger.
Understanding what triggers your anxiety gives you the power to manage your fear ahead of time in a non-threatening environment.
Knowing your triggers will help keep you from being taken off guard like in the example above.
With help, you can learn to retrain your thinking so that when you are triggered during a flight you will already know how to respond.
Take Action: Ask yourself what you are ultimately afraid of when flying? What is the worst-case scenario in your mind?
Ask Yourself: “When I think about flying, I’m most afraid that _________ will happen.”
Ask Yourself: “The worst-case scenario in my mind is __________.”
Ask Yourself: “I first begin feeling anxious about flying when I think about __________. ”
You’ll probably remember, the fear of flying can produce anticipatory fear and catastrophizing thoughts about what may take place during your flight.
Understanding how planes function can relieve anxiety and put an end to a lot of “what if” questions.
Example: Educating yourself on how a plane is designed to handle turbulence can help give you peace of mind about the level of danger you are actually in while flying. (Check out this article)
Here are some suggestions:
Did You Know…
“A person would have to fly on average once a day every day for 22,000 years before they would die in a U.S. commercial airplane accident according to recent accident rates.” -Dr. Arnold Barnett, MIT
Did You Know…
If you equip yourself with flight safety facts, you will be less likely to engage in irrational thinking about your safety level.
When you are flying 30,000 feet off the ground it may feel like you’re out of control.
You can relieve some anxiety by controlling everything within your grasp and letting go of the rest.
Here is a list of ways you can alleviate stress before your flight to make the experience run as smoothly as possible.
It may be a good idea to place a picture of the plane’s interior on your computer desktop.
By the time you are ready for your flight, the plane will seem familiar to you and less like an unsafe environment.
2. Select your seat before your flight and choose an area that will be most comfortable for you.
For example: If you are afraid of heights you might choose an aisle seat away from the plane’s window.
Likewise, if you are triggered by small spaces, it will be important to select an aisle seat so you can freely move around the cabin.
3. Give yourself plenty of time to check-in, board, etc.
Slow down the process of boarding as much as you can to avoid the extra stress of rushing to catch the flight.
4. Educate others on how to best help you through this process.
Whether it’s flight attendants or other passengers flying with you, it is a good idea to inform the people around you of your triggers and how to best help you cope through your anxiety.
Remember the goal is to control as much as you can ahead of time to alleviate as much stress as possible going in.
Take Action: As you board the plane, check out your environment.
Movies with airplane disasters are often highly exaggerated and will only feed your irrational beliefs about what will happen when you take a flight.
Avoid any current or past media coverage on airplane crashes unless your therapist directs you to watch these as part of exposure exercises to worst case scenarios.
Remember that news only covers the most extreme events which is why flight disasters seem so prevalent.
Learn to decide what kind of information you will allow to rule your mind.
Don’t allow your mind to linger on things you know will cause anxiety.
Just because you feel afraid doesn’t mean you’re in danger.
Your body feels the same way when you’re ACTUALLY in a dangerous situation and when you’re JUST feeling anxious.
Anxiety tricks your mind.
It’s important to remember that no matter how much you feel like you’re in danger, you are actually safe.
Believing you are safe in spite of your fear will help you to slowly rewire your brain and change your beliefs about flying.
In time, this will help your fear subside.
Find something to remind yourself that you’re safe when your anxiety flares up.
This is called an anchor.
Your anchor should remind you of a time you felt completely safe.
This can be a memory you choose to think back to or a physical item you keep with you.
Take Action: Remember Strategy 1, accept your fear of flying. It’s okay to feel afraid.
Take Action: Patiently comfort the part of yourself that is feeling fearful. It’s okay to be afraid. Everyone has fears.
Take Action: Find a way to remind yourself that you are ACTUALLY safe.
Let’s begin by better understanding breathing.
Deep Breathing Exercise:
Deep breathing is not something you only do when you are feeling anxious, you should make it a habit ALL THE TIME.
If you consistently breathe deeply, you will discover that you are less prone to anxiety.
To begin deep breathing properly follow these two simple steps:
Let’s Apply It: Take your phone right now, set a timer for 2 minutes. Practice deep breathing.
Before you begin, take a mental note of how you feel emotionally. Also, think about how each part of your body feels.
Afterward, check to see if your body or your emotions are any different than they were when you began.
Mindfulness Exercise:
The word mindful just means to be aware.
Mindfulness exercises don’t have to be complicated or confusing.
All that mindfulness exercises help you to do is be more aware of what is entering your mind and how to control your thought life.
A mindfulness exercise typically begins by getting into a comfortable seated position with two feet on the floor.
Once you are situated, close your eyes and begin taking slow deep breaths. Continue to breathe this way throughout the exercise.
As you sit, choose something specific to focus your mind on.
Some people focus on their breathing, others choose to envision a place they feel at peace.
The goal is to focus on one thing in the moment. If you are practicing mindfulness of thoughts, notice your thoughts.
Are there any unwelcome or anxious thoughts popping into your head?
Identify each thought as it appears in your mind and choose to release it. Don’t hold onto it.
Imagine the thought drifting away until it’s gone. If it comes back, let it drift away again.
Mindfulness is nothing mystical.
Mindfulness is an exercise that teaches you two things:
Mindfulness teaches you how to pay attention in a particular way that is more accepting and less judgmental. It allows you to relate to your inner and outer experiences in a different way.
The more time you take to practice mindfulness, the easier and more effective you will be at controlling your thought life.
At some point, when real-life anxiety springs up, you will discover you can let it go and bring your attention to something else instead.
Let’s Apply It: Take 5 minutes and try a mindfulness exercise right now.
To finish up this section, try mixing deep breathing exercises with your mindfulness exercises.
You can also check out our Free guided mindfulness exercises we recorded just for you → HERE
It can be easy to get so caught up in your anxiety that you lose sight of why you are taking the flight in the first place.
Look at the bigger picture. Taking a moment to focus on the purpose of the flight can help put your fear in a proper perspective.
Olympic runners never take their eyes off the prize.
The long hours of practice and sacrifice becomes worth it when they remember what they are doing it for.
In the same way, focusing on your destination will keep you motivated and excited during your journey.
Planning out your trip in advance and detailing specific activities you plan to do while you’re there will help you associate positive feelings with your flight.
Write out a list of things you are excited about to remind yourself during the flight.
When you feel anxiety creeping in, reroute your thinking to the things you’re excited about.
You can trick your mind by choosing what you focus on.
Your attention can only ever be on one thing at a time, so if you focus on things that you find exciting, your anxiety will decrease.
The more you expose yourself to your fears, the more comfortable with them you will become.
In the counseling world, there is an actual therapy called exposure therapy that does exactly this.
You can begin to increase your tolerance on your own.
Let’s Take Action: Begin by listing what you are afraid of from least to greatest.
You can do this on the 1-10 diagram listed below. We have added some of our own notes to get you thinking. Add as many things to the chart as you can think of.
1: – Low Anxiety Behavior:_(Think about flying in a plane)______________
2: ___________________________________________________________
3: __________(Set your desktop background a plane image)____________
4: ___________________________________________________________
5: – Moderate Anxiety Behaviors: ___(listen to airplane sounds on Youtube)
6: ___________________________________________________________
7: _____________(Get a flight simulator video game)__________________
8: ___________________________________________________________
9: ___________________________________________________________
10: – High Anxiety Behaviors:____________(Take a flight)______________
Once you have created your chart, begin by choosing to expose yourself to the least scary items on the list first.
The goal of exposure therapy is to slowly build your tolerance and your willingness to face your fears.
This means you want to challenge yourself but you also don’t want to start with too much all at once.
Example: Suppose you are not a runner but you decide you want to run a marathon.
If you begin training and decide to run 5 miles on your first day, you’re going to have a bad time (exhaustion, pulled muscles, etc).
The same is true with exposing yourself to your fear.
Build your courage slowly over time.
Begin with the least scary items on your list until you feel confident you have mastered them.
Then move on to the next item down when you feel ready.
If you are experiencing a fear of flying, the good news is you do not have to feel this way forever.
There are many programs specifically designed to help those with a fear of flying find freedom from their anxieties.
The fear of flying can range in severity from low anxiety to crippling anxiety. Ask yourself where you fit into these four categories:
(1) I can fly with some discomfort
(2) I only fly when I am required to and I feel anxiety while flying
(3) I only fly when it is absolutely necessary and I experience crippling fear while flying
(4) I have not flown in 5 or more years despite having had opportunities to. The thought of flying brings about extreme negative feelings.
Ask yourself…
“Is my fear of flying severely limiting me and my relationships?”
“Is my fear of flying keeping me from doing the things I want to do (see family, go on vacation, etc.)?”
If you answered yes to these questions or you feel like you don’t have the power to make ANY forward progress on your own then it’s probably time to find a knowledgeable counselor who can help.
Learn more about our virtual reality exposure therapy program HERE!
Click here for more information on Anxiety Therapy.
Fill out the form below to have one of our therapists reach out to discuss consultation services in New York City.
Phone: 646.809.5440
Email: intake@mindwellnyc.com