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Anxious About Getting Married? This Is Normal

Getting engaged…

The first major stepping stone in a path of many to your happy ever after. This is huge! 

You’ll probably hear about how happy everyone is for you, how happy you should be, and that this is the most exciting time. 

You’re planning a wedding and about to have the happiest day of your life! Your wedding day, the start of your life together is touted as the happiest day of your life. So soon? In one day? That may be a hard thought sinking in. 

Then the rest follows: What if something goes wrong? What if no one comes? Or what if too many people come and you don’t have enough resources? What if the weather forecast calls for a thunderstorm, tornado, or monsoon? 

So many what-ifs. It’s no wonder anxiety can begin to spiral. 

Why Do You Feel Pre-Wedding Nerves?

As of 2022, the average wedding cost is about $30,000. Consider all the things you can do with that money: purchase a car, plan an extravagant vacation, or put a deposit down on a house. 

Life at the newlywed age is already stressful and demanding without adding the additional pressure of planning a wedding. That need for the perfect vendors, details, and guest list can skyrocket your stress level. 

If you’re feeling any level of anxiety about getting married, you are most definitely not alone. It’s actually a normal part of the process. You are reaching a pretty big life milestone, after all. This stigma around pre-wedding jitters leads people to believe any stress or hesitation must mean you are having cold feet. Cold feet and pre-wedding jitters aren’t the same, even though they are often used interchangeably. 

Don’t give in to those false narratives. You can be all in with your partner and on your wedding day but still feel some nerves. What counts is identifying the cause and knowing how to manage them.

Managing Anxiety Before the Wedding

Don’t be afraid to have a conversation with your significant other. Express any fears and doubts you may be having. Odds are, your partner probably shares some of them too. There is some relief in that level of open honesty and transparency. After having some raw conversations, you’ll feel more confident in your relationship and more connected to your partner. 

photo of a womans hand wrapped around her fiance's neck showing off her engagement ring

Anxiety often stems from a lack of control, like organizing a big, complex event. One way to combat that is to plan as much as you possibly can ahead of time. Keep a detailed schedule and have a planner for organizing appointments and details. 

Talk with your family and loved ones about your expectations for the big day. Minimizing stress is important and sometimes family can be a big source of that. Going over your expectations of what you would like them to do surrounding the wedding can give you that extra sense of control and have a plan in place.

Most importantly, spend time with your partner. Life may get hectic and you’ll be coming and going. Don’t forget to set aside some time as a couple to just be and give yourself some perspective reminding. 

Managing Symptoms on the Wedding Day

When you reach your big day, it’s likely going to go by in a blur. Don’t forget to do the essentials to keep yourself grounded. 

Eat a healthy breakfast in the morning. It’s often forgotten or dismissed. 

Don’t skip activity on the morning of, especially if you routinely work out. It’s not only a good stress relief, but it also can help give you a clear mind to handle anything that comes your way. 

Lean on your wedding party and close family. They’re there for a reason: to help keep you calm. Don’t be afraid to delegate. 

If you’re in the stage between engagement and marriage, you will feel stress at some point. Use our contact information to learn more about anxiety therapy and how it can help you manage your emotions and anxiety to give yourself the best day possible. 




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